Spiritual Journey
Written by Bishop Max Whitfield Monday, 18 May 2009 13:53
I saw a medical specialist this past week. He asked the normal questions, prepared his diagnosis, and then inquired about my professional work. He shared his spiritual journey and concluded that portion of our conversation by proclaiming that he was more spiritually alive and had grown more spiritually in the past year than in any other portion of his life. There was a brief pause in the conversation and he inquired, “Do you live on a spiritual high, or do you find that you go up and down spiritually?”
The idea of lying came to my mind. “I remain in constant contact with Jesus Christ. Jesus is closer to me than I am to myself. I never experience any spiritual lows in life.” My closest friends recognize that I am a terrible liar. My face depicts my feelings for everyone in the world to see. Members of my covenant groups know that some days my prayers hit the ceiling and bounce back in my face. I feel abandoned by God. I wonder why Jesus took a leave of absence, or why I changed my spiritual address and all communication stopped. I acknowledged my spiritual life manifested a constant flow of exhilaration and sadness.
This stranger then inquired, “What do you do to alter your condition and return to a closer relationship with Jesus Christ? Do you change your devotional practices or do you change your behavior?” Like so many either/or options, I answered, “Yes!” I usually find that when my relationship with Jesus feels like we are growing apart, I need to examine what I am doing in my daily devotional practices to stay close to my Lord and Savior. Those practices often need alteration to break the routine and discover the joy of spending time with the person who loves me more than I could ever imagine. On other occasions, I discover the way I treat people, my attitudes toward individuals or tasks I am performing or my understanding of Jesus and his work need to change in order for my spiritual life to get back on track. Many different factors can affect my spiritual life.
This causal and unexpected encounter with a stranger I visited for professional services made me realize how seldom I spoke to the congregations I served about my personal spiritual journey. I assumed these members knew about the ebb and flow of my spiritual life. I assumed that they knew how I changed my practices to secure a deeper more vital relationship with Jesus my Lord. In retrospect, my naive suppositions appear ridiculous.
Why did I fail to share my own spiritual journey? Was I afraid I would lose the respect of those committed to my care? Did I want to appear stronger than I really was? I suspect the real reason I never really shared my spiritual life with other people, even in private, was my desire for privacy. The sharing of my spiritual journey began to change a few years ago. I discovered support during my times of struggle and great rejoicing when I experienced victories leading me to a closer, deeper relationship with Jesus. I cheated myself of some great opportunities to grow in Christ by protecting the image I wanted others to have of me.
Bearing our souls to strangers may not lead to a stronger spiritual life, but bearing our souls in covenant relationship can produce growth beyond our expectations.
Grace & Peace,
